PRISON HEART

WEEK 2: "HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONS". I'm finding it nerve wracking to get around the prison. I get disoriented and often end up in a narrow hall alone. Once I was standing in the men's bathroom, thinking, who am I? One of my kind students of mindfullness, Modesto, a 29 year old man with cerebral palsy, found me and gently lead me away, back towards our classroom. He understands disorientation. I felt sad, which I understood, was some kind of collective feeling that was floating around that place. Where were people's souls when their bodies are locked up? I ask the class, "What are we talking about when we talk about emotions?" 10 blank stares bore holes in my forehead. I asked myself, "Yea, Einstein, what are we talking about?" Luckily I can always fall back on the power point presentation. Most of them are illiterate and don't read or write, so I learned this week to put in funny Charlie Chaplin clips to keep their attention. Unfortunately this week's clip had Charlie taunting the law and rolling back and forth under a fence to escape from the police. They didn't laugh. They filled out an emotions inventory. I helped an older, illiterate man, Antonio, fill his out. "FEEL...SAD? NO....ANGRY...NEVER....UPSET.....NO..... THOUGHTS OF HURTING ANYONE? ALL THE TIME:" I have asked them to tell me if they don't understand my foriegn accent. They never correct me. Today when the loud speaker screamed at us I followed them down to the patio to watch them line up for the count. If they're not in line in 5 minutes, they get docked and have to be in the pen. Emotions: 100 men lining up at attention, waiting patiently while each name was called. Patience. Is that an emotion?